The keepers at the zoo go to work everyday in their shorts which, best I can figure, is good enough reason to depise them entirely. Naturally they do this both because the job of taking care of Johnny polar bear requires them to be able to move quickly should he get annoyed (or amorous), but really I suspect this all is just a prelude towards what we'll all be wearing to work soon thanks to state-propigated myth of global warming. Yes, the polar caps are melting, cartoons are too violent, and since we're all obviously making too much money; Obama will happily take your hard-earned pesos and spread the wealth to your good-for-nothing neighbors. Socialism trifecta is now officially in play.
 
...or so right-wing radio would have you believe.
 
True enough, you’d be hard-pressed to spot a Nazi searchlight anywhere outside a museum (or perhaps Al Gore's boxer shorts), but that isn't to say the mongers of planetary doom haven't drawn a dotted line connecting the so-called economic and environmental crisis with the greenness of your panties either. Now depending which of the cash-lined rabbit trails of cataclysmic doom you chose to follow, the end result always seems to end with the lot of us destitute and stranded for life on Gilligan's island while poor Johnny polar bear drowns after the polar ice caps have melted entirety.
 
Plainly then the problem here isn't global warming at all, rather we simply have too much water on our planet! Thankfully we can fix that. Rather than force-feed compact cars and low-emission porno on the good people of Earth, clearly the answer is to pump some of our water directly into space. Brilliant! Thankfully space is a short 75 miles from the surface of the Earth, so why not make a giant pipe, dip one end in the ocean and take the other end out into the void of space where of course; there is a vacuum. That means all this nasty eco-unfriendly water should be sucked up the pipe (without the need for any energy-absorbing pumps) and save us all. Not only will we happily be back to outdoor grilling of Johnny polar bear on the hood of gas-guzzling muscle cars by noon, but we'll have created beach-front property and brought fire to the common man. Lex Luthor will be so proud.

Today's Positive: Good Friday? Nah, it was the best. 

Today's Negative: Got a new boss at work. Yep, it seems lately I go through them faster than maxi pads, but this lady weirds me out. She hasn't said one word to me, but she sits there talking in Spanish all day and occasionally looking at me. I've taken to calling her Cruella Tijuana behind her back and most definitely when nobody is listening. Don't ask me why..it just made me giggle a bit.

Currently The Beautiful Letdown By Switchfoot see related