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  • I got bitten by a Møøse

    Beseiged like a pair of spider monkeys picking fleas off each other, I often find myself in the disgusting quandary of not being able to reach some parts of my back very well along the utter disgust of a husband that can…

  • My panties are flying South for the winter...I was well aware that both birds and the elderly migrate South when it gets cold out, but a perfectly good pair of knickers hugging my knees is a different matter all togethe…

  • Happy Birthday...who are you again?Give it up for my mother to take a perfectly good evening and make it more awkward than getting your braces frozen to a flagpole (which only happened the one time regardless of what an…

  • Tales from the job, part 49Outside of Fidel Castro flossing your teeth while wearing your mother's favorite party dress, few things are as awkward as listening to the technically inept on flap their jaw for hours on var…

  • Elvis has left the building (and gone to the bathroom)"You just had to go and fart, didn't you?" "Oh whatever, Rebekah, it wasn't me. It was probably the waiter." "I know the one-cheek-sneak when I see it." "Wasn't me."…

  • Trapped in the belly of the man-eating elevatorHe says that I'm cute, in a geeky sort of way, and that he has always had a thing for me; which is exactly the sort of Melrose Place drama I was hoping to avoid in this exp…

  • I drank the kool-aidThey say everyone is allergic to something, even if they've not necessarily discovered what it is. I always used to claim I was allergic to bullshit, unfortunately the truth turned out far more laugh…

  • Its always the last place you looWithout anyone else to help me, I singlehandedly figured out that boys pee standing up. Okay so I was 5-years old and didn't have much to go on beyond a few awkward conversations with my…

  • Is that you mom?I remember watching Richard Simmons doing exercises on the television when I was a kid, granted at the time I didn't see the point of him getting on all fours and stretching his back out, but I was quick…

  • What do you do when your out of clean underwear?What do you do when your out of clean underwear? I'm usually Johnny-on-the-spot when it comes to doing the laundry. Usually that is, unfortunatly my little anklebiters det…

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