Clearly my blogging rhythm seems to have been dropped as if it'd been run over by a drunken yobbo in a Ford Pinto, but when exactly did it happen? When did I become a bad blogger? I could cite excuses like the ozone laye…

So I'm in the supermarket tonight and I'm tired. I mean really tired. Like I could curl up on a small palette of dog food and go to sleep right there next to the weirdo arguing with himself about if his bluetooth headset…

Make no mistake, I love being in control. Slap a Captain's hat on my perfectly brushed hair and the range of possibilities are endless under my sublime leadership. Unfortunately, all of them are also quite bad. Naturally…

As if it wasn’t bad enough that everything he learned about the art of conversation could have been found in a low-rent porn involving girls with too many vowels in their names, I soon discovered that everything he had l…

I cannot conceive of how empty, pointless and sucking harder than a fat kid trying to get that last drop of milkshake your life must be if pornography is the solution. Did I say porn? Clearly I meant a good used car. Its…