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A failed night of the rumpty-tumpty
You'd think I just sketched out a new HBO mini-series. Rolled up cheetos over an unwarranted and uncared about Monpoly board sitting idle next to an open bottle of KY, sadly after three and a half attempts of the rumpty-… -
Roll over car...play dead!
While not necessesarily as exciting (or corny for that matter) as one of those 1980's action flicks in which Sylvester Stallone or Chuck Norris ventured into some backwater hostile country on a rescue mission, everyday w… -
Used Rubber
Stop. Stop right there and smack your sense of national pride with a greasy pair of chicken tongs, I've been over-taxed! Now before you brush off the mental image of Khrushchev in a pair of Old Navy track pants raising h… -
Rebekah's new reality show concept
I cannot conceive of how empty, pointless and sucking harder than a fat kid trying to get that last drop of milkshake your life must be if pornography is the solution. Did I say porn? Clearly I meant a good used car. Its… -
VooDoo Focus
Let's not make excuses for bad drivers, even taking into account hormones, cell phones, and the relative isolation pouting on the couch all night because their signifigant other wasn't in the mood doesn't mean you can te… -
Another angel gets his wings
If I had to nitpick, and obviously I do, buying a new car at a dealership is like trying to manhandle a cow up a staircase. You've got only seconds to leap out of your barely running jalopy, usually before its fully stop… -
Gone walkabout
The Lamborghini works only at dinner parties. Tell someone you have one and in minutes you will be having sex over a bed of crisp Romaine lettuce and a bottle of French wine you can't pronounce. But as dependable transpo… -
Oh snot!
Take everything you loathe and hate about having to drag your ass out of bed on a cold Tuesday morning and slap on stuffy nose complete with enough snot to fill a small duffle bag and watch your inner child poke its eyes… -
An indecent proposal from Captain Crunch
From my vantage point snuggled into shop doorway with nothing to do except re-button my Levi 501s in the high-hopes of keeping the workman laying underneath my car from thinking I was giving him a peep show, I growled to… -
A spinning kaleidoscope of untwisted bumper
Short of being paraded on the internet while wearing striped suspenders and a fluffy pink tutu, I can think of nothing I would like less than actually being in an auto accident; but my God do I enjoy actually seeing one.…
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Fix it like a girl!
So I had an old Handspring Visor Edge laying aroun... -
Bad Blogging 101
Clearly my blogging rhythm seems to have been drop... -
Blogging without words
&n...
