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  • Rebekah's tips for successfully photocopying your bum

    Seeing as I'm both a bonafide geek and a borderline narcissist with this strange attraction to office supplies, you'd imagine that the prospect of spending what I can only describe as a nefarious hour locked in the copy …

  • 200 miles to Wichita with an upset tummy and no pantsIt occured to me around 5pm Sunday afternoon that if my life was some wacked out reality show, a challenge that required me to go the maximum distance possible in a m…

  • Not-so-happy trailsIt seemed like such a good idea (back when I was 10 years old) to take a small jar of gasoline and dunk some firecrackers in it before lighting them off in a treehouse with this boy I was trying to im…

  • Congratulations, you've just given birth to a granola bar!Much like the time my uncle Marty was found hanging upside down in an oak tree trying to recover his pants, nobody is quite certain how this series of events beg…

  • Oral sex: the day my 115-point ASCE certified inspections stoppedThe disclaimer: I know, this topic runs right up to the "too much information" line and jumps up and down on it a few times, and although I have strived t…

  • No sex in the champaign roomThree broken bed frames, a popped waterbed, several holes in the wall, the occasional lamp, and (of course) two children later ought to testify that I'm certainly no stranger to alacritities …

  • Elvis has left the building (and gone to the bathroom)"You just had to go and fart, didn't you?" "Oh whatever, Rebekah, it wasn't me. It was probably the waiter." "I know the one-cheek-sneak when I see it." "Wasn't me."…

  • The Wichita rim jobPop quiz. Your flat broke with maybe $35 to your name with which to buy gas, diapers, and food for at least a week until payday, and what does fiscally responsible husband spend the money on? His car …

  • Always check your baggage on the train to LoopyvilleLast Saturday I had to tooth removed. Thats the short version, although in truth the long version really isn't much longer. They had to go in and drill for oil for a b…

  • My husband, the explosive poo cannonGiven a lifetime of tripping and falling my my ass thanks to this pesky inner-ear issue of mine, you'd think I had little to no shame left; flashing your underpants to strangers howev…

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