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Judging a book by its cover
Nursery rhymes are cruel and terrible things full of stories about dismembered sheep and the bubonic plague, and while I'd like to imagine that such neatly packaged barbarism exists only in the minds of young children to… -
Post Christmas hookie
This is me playing post-Christmas hookie. Please note I said "hookie" and not "nookie" because after a nearly-ruptured ear-drum yesterday morning, a whole host of loopy meds, and a fat doctor's bill later; there is simpl… -
Baby's first beer
Apart from the fact that it is completely inappropriate (and just slightly illegal) and that I don’t in any sense recommend or condone it, but I wouldn’t actually think there is anything especially heinous about stopping… -
This is how I like it
I suppose I should thank the twelve people who tagged me for this exquisite Gatsby of a quiz, you know the flavor, the one thats been passed around more tumes than a crumpled dollar bill at a "low rent" strip club (and s… -
Fun with oatmeal
Thanks to our recent case of electoral spin-the-bottle, its no secret we're about to be governed by a bunch of thugs who go to bed at 9pm, drink only low-point beer, never have tried to look up their secretaries’ skirts,… -
The grotto-grasp
Supposedly the Italians would do it for luck, ridiculous boy bands would go for it all the time on their way to look "fresh" along their way to a fresh dollop of chlamydia, and most critics agree that Cadillac mouth-gril… -
15 items or less
Much more obvious than visible panty line and definitely more self-explanatory than a sleasy girl underneath a streetlamp, the colossal "15 items or less" sign at the grocery store ought to be straightfoward enough that … -
Taking advantage of myself
Given the choice of sitting naked inside a bathtub full of mayonnaise, no doubt farting because my husband enjoys that slow-moving fart bubbling experience, and taking me out for a nice dinner and a movie; I rather suspe… -
Upskirt for a hobo
Try as I might to convince myself of the notion that I did, in fact, not give a hobo a free peep up my skirt yesterday afternoon, I'm fairly certain that I did...still it does make for better conversation than admitting … -
Is that a cheeseburger down your blouse?
I've decided that among the inordinate things about me I would do well to change, like slipping a slice of bologna in my bosses cubical wall for over a couple of weeks now, I really need to start dressing like a nun...be…
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Fix it like a girl!
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